A Deviant With A Toothbrush

I was buying a toothbrush and socks at a local store tonight. I was waiting in line, behind a family with some small children who were in the process of checking out, and ahead of a short young woman who had a few small items and no cart. The family in front of me was purchasing a variety of thing, including a young girl's pink ballerina costume. Had this been late October, I wouldn't have thought this to be particularly odd, but being a 90+ degree in early August, I decided to ponder on possibilities for the use of the costume. Was it an impulse purchase to keep a grumpy daughter happy? Do people in Kansas dress very differently than people in other states during spells of high temperatures? Was this girl actually a ballerina and had traveled great distances with her family to give a performance, only to realize, much like my situation with my toothbrush and socks, and she too had forgotten a vital piece of equipment.

I was almost starting to make sense of the situation when another checkout isle opened and the woman behind the cash register announced that her isle was open. This generally leads to an awkward moment between the people already waiting in the nearest lanes. Who has the right to go to the new isle? Who should stay? Can one pass another person during this unexpected lane change? When is someone committed to an isle and not allowed to change?

These are issues that everyone ponders when this situation arises, but this is not what concerned me about this particular instance. Rather, it was the comment that the short young woman standing behind me posed after I quickly said "go ahead" to her, implying that she should go ahead of me in the new isle. She quickly responded with "No, no, you go ahead, errr...., Ummmm..." I must have had a confused look on my face, because she felt the need to explain her indecision. She said she didn't know if the pink ballerina dress, already on the counter ahead of me, was mine or not, so she didn't know if I would want to move to the new isle since I was arbitrarily committed to the existing isle.

This was deeply concerning. She actually considered that the pink ballerina dress belonged to me, the guy standing in line in business attire, holding socks and a toothbrush. I can only imagine, while standing behind me in the isle for several minutes, what she was thinking of my intended use for the dress. Did I have a daughter in need of a dress? Was I some kind of a fashion designer looking for inspiration? Was I a horrible social deviant with intentions of doing terrible things involving a pink ballerina dress, a package of socks, and a neon green wear sensing medium bristle toothbrush?

I chose the latter, as it was the most fun. I simply said, while quickly moving to the newly opened isle, "Oh no, not for me. I prefer purple ballerina dresses with my socks." I paid, walked out of the store, and didn't look back.